I am going to share the story of the last few years of my life of escaping the throes of an addict and narcissist:

My writings are to a "Bishop"(at the time it was my earthly Bishop--poor soul--but in reality to was to my Savior and Redeemer to whom I wrote, think of this verse from the New Testament:

1 Peter 2:25
For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and the Bishop of your souls.

6/814

Bishop, I need you to be extra careful with the reading you give to K. He said, I was to read them and I did--they seemed safe enough. However, I received a phone call this afternoon, spoke freely so he could hear . . . He asked (demands is too strong) who it was on the phone. I didn't freely give him an answer because of his tone. He then begins to tell me that the articles said "couples don't keep secrets from each other". Just thought I'd let you know how he's interpreting the messages. I really cannot understand his thought processes.

7/20/14

Bishop the gist of the C story is that I know Father has the power to give K the enlightenment to understand and comprehend what he is lacking. Kevin just needs to ask and until he becomes like the apostles and asks "Is it I?" our marriage will enjoy the blessings of "sobriety" rater than the greater joys of "recovery". Nevertheless, I can enjoy the greater blessings and joy of my own recovery. Thank you,

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Bishop, it just dawned on me the hypocrisy of my words: "Is it I?" I am not sure I can trust my own answer to that question about myself. Is it I, am I holding back the progression of the marriage? Intellectually I want to answer no for my own safety. But I understand all too well-the talk/sentence miracle-that taking the first step into vulnerability is not a pleasant experience and there is no peace until you accept God's will for you. I was going to ask you for that answer, "Is it I?" but I think I answered it myself. I do not feel the turmoil within that comes from being out of sync with God's will.